Hey guys! I hope you are all doing super well! I've been really excited this week as I started to navigate through the restart of my makeup work and give you some new bits and pieces. I can't wait for everyone to see all the amazing new tutorials and looks I've filmed because I think it's my best work. I really wanted to combine some behind the scenes tea with some of my new updates and I think my blog is a healthier way of discussing this than actually creating anything on social media, because I think a lot of people try and antagonise me to get that reaction on social media. I just won't do it anymore because I am too attuned to what the motivations are and it's just pointless. I could care less at this point but my audience demands answers and I've kept the majority off the internet.
So to explain a little more about my break on Youtube, for two years and two months, I've not created new makeup work on celebrities or for editorial purposes, I've also not given you any new content. When I say new content, then the normal protocol is to set up the candids, set up the promotions and arrange that my video will be in keeping with the platform so people can find it. I've only made 15 new videos, my throwback series which I didn't promote, a couple of exclusives for things like Marie Claire and a lot of temporary 'throw away content'.
So I am a business, I make coinz. Coinz a plenty. My legacy of work is high viewed high-quality innovative content. However, if I love a product and a brand and I've negotiated not only my own sponsorship deals but to allow them to work with other androgynous, trans or lgbt influencers, I make sure there is a clause about the duration of the advertisement. So I can create content, I can advertise it, but I don't want it a permanent fixture on my work. So that's how I do it. My videos are watched without me doing anything because they're the first of their kind. So if I'm being paid three stacks not only as an influencer, but as a professional with a creative resume I'll bag that money, get my mum some new furniture. Flip it and help her buy a house! That is my loyalty first and foremost so I am open about making money. But another point is Youtube does not promote your content to your subscribers anymore so I've pretty much gone under the radar to my whole audience cos I don't love to do sponsored posts, so I can privatise them and then we're back to a clean slate, where the only public work for the next era is brilliant work that I love.
So let's go back to 2015, I have a succession of brilliant shoots out and I was invited to be part of a book with the photographer Greg Bailey. We had collaborated on all the photoshoots prior to this, but I wasn't as creatively in control of the images as I chose. We used my house, we used my wigs, we used my furs, we used my makeup and I suggested the ideas as we were shooting. But the ideas were from Greg and most of the time they were bringing the drag down and the unique beauty up. They were also set up for magazine purposes and there were always great ideas. So having one of my homes used as a studio, letting my human hair wigs be used and so on, you can understand that my loyalty was to Greg as a person. We did some pretty phenomenal work together, however, what confuses me is the follow through that I've kept very quiet.
I was invited to paint Frank Music and Jodie Harsh for a couple of magazines. I did not want to do Jodie Harsh as a client because I don't really think she has much room to play with as an artist. When I agreed to do Alaska, she didn't have as great makeup as she does today. Or Jinkx. So it was easy for me to create my signature style on them. People like Milk, who is just brilliant in my opinion, I wanted to do a blue butterfly look but didn't have the time because of the gig commitments, so that's not my favourite image we did. But back to Jodie, she has a look, it's not really great for me because it's not about doing someone's makeup as themselves, I'm not a makeup artist. It's a different intention. I have only done shoots where I can do my work on them as a model. So I didn't wanna do it but out of loyalty, when it came to it I agreed. Then the shit hits the fan, and that's the part that I haven't addressed because I was forced to cancel. During this time I had a really serious health scare where a birthmark on my side gave signs it was cancerous. I was checked out and confirmed that it was skin cancer, had to go forward with the hospital and so on. If you recall, this was very soon after I was attacked in May 2015 after the RPDR UK Ambassador Competition in London. So I was attacked in May and by September I was told I have skin cancer.
I kid you not like 2015 was a wild mess. Long story short, I'm absolutely fine now and no issues remain, but it was part of the process of why I took a back seat to that part of my work. I backed out of those two commitments and began to focus on my projects like AgitProp, I created a blog talking about how I didn't really wanna do Youtube anymore and that was what my part of this was.
Little did I know, that these people viewed me as an accessory for the promotion and not as a colleague or friend who had gone out of their way to create amazing work. Telling someone you work with that you are sick and can't do the job solely because of that is a very revealing thing. This was not exclusive to makeup work, this also pertains to a digital campaign I did at the same time with an organization which I won't mention due to the nature of the campaign. I didn't receive even a single message to ask whether I was okay from anyone involved. And that is the main reason why I found this to be such a horrendous experience because I don't even need to work with anyone. I actually take beautiful images myself, it was just a friendship and I love being a team player, sharing energy and creating new work with people I love. It takes a lot for me to do that, like I'm sure people know all the influencers I am friends with? Have you ever seen me ask for one piece of promotion from their work in the ENTIRE time I've been online? I'm not motivated at all by that I'm a very different type of person. And it's also out of respect for what I do. I don't want to cross-pollinate my work with other people, I want to create something from the ground up. It's really quite an important thing to me because I really want my legacy of work to be of an amazing quality. I would be mortified if people looked back at what I've done and think, wow that chick got all this success from a viral meme. I would stop out of principle I think it's the most absurd thing to want to aspire to.
So beyond this, let's just talk about how 2016 panned out because I pretty much kept myself to myself. I did loads of red carpets from Robert De Niro movies to West End debuts with Cyndi Lauper. I got the opportunity to go to Drag Con and headline my panel, I did Summer in the City, Beauty Con. I kept it going. Launched more products, created my book and kept on doing my own makeup work with friends and amazingly talented artists. I took that situation on the chin and despite being harassed continuously by some demented characters, I started to narrow my circle. I began to promote my new book as instructed from the publisher, I put some of past photos out, and gave some indication of the type of work I was doing. There was never any intention of putting prior photoshoots out in my book, it's not comparable at all. Like I wouldn't put work in my own book that I didn't retouch, particularly because I was really disappointed in some of the filters applied which just contrasted with the makeup. I don't know if this was misconstrued or what, but you can't take flash photos of makeup and then not correct the white balance to reflect what it looked like because for example, in the Milk photo. You can't see the blending or the actual look of the brows. Here is the post I made.
Now, I am very confused because I thought that reads clearly as, I was going through old work whilst creating new content for my book. If you're perhaps slow, you can read that and think that I'm saying I want this image for my book. That's obviously not the case, I wanted to reintroduce the image just to show what I've previously done. As you can see, I went back into the face and artificially recreated the look of the makeup so you can see what I actually did, it's basically adding a filter to my own makeup work to show what's to come. It's a lovely photo but I never used it before because of the edit, and to give some more tea, I didn't even know I was gonna do this look because I got a message the day before from Milk who was a huge fan of my blog, he asked me to pop up and it was that organized. So it worked out really awesome. However, what happened next was just the cherry on the cake.
So I woke up to receive an email from my management at this time stating that I was using copyright images across my work, not a personal email to me from Greg or a text, but an email to my network management accusing me of using other peoples images. Why would anyone contact my Youtube management relating to my actions, I am the boss. Management agencies do very little for me, I am never brought work by anyone, I am a hustler. So it was the most unexpected thing. I was just shocked because to do that you have to operate with the intention of trying to break down a perceived management contract, or what would the purpose be? There was no email, there was no report alert on my social media. What was the reason behind doing that if you weren't looking to do damage? It was done with intent. So let's just again reiterate, I cancelled my work because I was told I had skin cancer, received no contact out of support and entered the new year to find that posting my own makeup work was being forwarded to my network. It was an absolute joke. To add insult to injury, not only did I reach out and try and respond to this via email to no response, but I had to sit back and be forwarded print screens from my audience of the sociopath stalker, who had been incessantly posting all my images, videos of how my Instagram was verified by some hack or even memes saying 'haha you're fired.' It became very clear to me what was going on here. I don't care how a bitch gets's their money if anyone wants to work with scum like that they can, it's not my business. But don't sit there and 'kiki' with a bully whose sole intention is to do damage to my brand and relationships with what they thought to be my management.
This is the most summarised version of what transpired. Because these people are insane.
Where was the basic compassion for someone you've worked with who was sick, where is the contact to address the break down of the working relationship and why would you ever corroborate with someone who has an obsession with me? I just think it's unbelievable and was that a wake-up. I was 23/24. These people were near 30. It was a tough lesson to learn. I thank God I was careful to not give it too much attention because it's all about that. For whatever reason, I am the focus of all this horrible behaviour and it honestly, it was something that I was shocked by but I'm glad I didn't take it to heart. Because I'm a very sensitive and kind person and it was really nasty. I just accepted it, saw people for who they were and continued to make my money, keep my business in order and maintain my artistry. I thank God that it really holds no importance or change in my life. I just think that it's a warning really to people who have such great success early on in their lives, you have to navigate your ship with care. You cannot confuse business with friendships.
So here today, I am going to address it to share with my supporters exactly why I took a break, what elements caused it and the repercussions. Which have been entertaining.
So for the last six months, I've had the most wonderful time really reconnecting with my family and planning how I wanted to proceed. I've had the most fantastic support from the Baron who is really a genius. Just to clarify paha, he's not managing me. He's just my man and I ask him for advice. And if he can manage Gaga & work with Rihanna, I think that's a pretty phenomenal source to ask questions to hahhaaaa <3 So there have been six new Halloween tutorials in the last two years, Optical Illusion looks which will be reintroduced as the year develops. My cat look, my neon geisha and my GoT commissions for Marie Claire. I've kept them exclusive to the website for my core people so I'm super proud of them. I have over forty transformations now finished, I am going to be Petty Wap from the mansion. Because I can. I don't know what people think is going on when they choose to focus entirely on me but when have I ever cared about shit like that. It's just bizarre to me. So it was just a pack of bullying antics whilst I was sick that caused so much of my discomfort. It took a minute for me to work out what was going on because I did involve the police and get some resolve. So that's pretty much it! My eye injury did have a major part of it, but it was worsened by these people. I have my first new tutorial and I've had the biggest reaction to my social I think ever? Haha. Everything is dated and will be so fun to see come together. If we've gotta get some new content out there, I'm excited to do so! It just feels so great to see how God has a plan for you, how you come from the right place and you can't go wrong. I am a seven-figure earning business, she wins every time she tries, and anyone who sits there with Joseph Harwood as the ambition can simply be secondary. So I do wanna get back to some new makeup shoots which we have set up, I'm gonna take it as it comes and I can't wait for everyone to see the new projects I've got coming .
I was very sad during the following months of that work friendship breakdown, it was something that I honestly didn't expect to happen but it is what it is and it doesn't hold much bearing on what I do. It was a lesson in value. I wish everyone involved the best.
Love to all.